In the silence of my misery, I must have fallen asleep. I woke up to the whistle of a female cardinal calling for her mate. He responded back with repeated whistles whe-cheer-cheer, whe-cheer-cheer. I started to weep. How dare they sound so happy? Didn’t they realize that my soul mate of fifteen years hadn’t arrived from across the blue? Take your cheerfulness across town; I wanted to shout at them. I put the pillow over my ears to drown out their repeated whistles of love. I was feeling sorry for myself. I had to snap out of this and be positive. Hopefully he was still on his way. More importantly, I continued to pray he was safe.
I later found out that Gavin was living his own hell in not being able to land on American soil. The airport scanning machine had not recognized his passport. He was stranded in Iceland. Customs would not let him get on his connecting flight to America. His passport had not expired but a new law required a digital chip to be embedded on passports used to enter America. He could not take a return flight back to Sweden that evening and the airport completely closed down at six p.m. Imagine his utter frustration and disappointment. He went searching for a hostel for the night. The only room available was with three drunken men. He didn’t dare sleep in fear of his safety since they were throwing knives back and forth.
The next morning, he was on a return flight to Stockholm with a connecting flight to Gothenburg. He was totally exhausted and starving by the time he reached home. His refrigerator was empty because he was planning on being in America for several weeks. He slept and awoke early to call the British Embassy in Stockholm. They would arrange an emergency passport for him.
A few days later, Gavin was on a flight with the destination … America. I was flying on the clouds with him in anticipation. We were finally going to meet!
Luck was not on his side; customs in Holland refused his emergency passport. America had placed a new restriction law and no longer was accepting emergency passports. His dream since youth of coming to America had ended.
Gavin had an extremely long wait in the summer sun waiting for a return flight back to Sweden. He was devastated and how in the world he found courage to tell me the news, I will never know. I was ready to leave for the airport when I got his call. There are no words to express the emptiness and sorrow in one’s heart when dreams unravel. The hope that gave me strength to endure each and every surgery was that promise of finally meeting and getting that long overdue hug from Gavin. Imagine hanging onto a rope for fifteen years and it finally splits in two and you fall. I was shattered. The 4th of July celebration – fireworks went on without me attending and the world around me was again silent.
Until next time … Be blessed, Rosie ღஜღ